FUCK PLANKING, HUTCHING IS THE WAY

I was trawling the internet today and came across a new blog I hadent read before!!!! :o I know right haha

...and I must say, its friggen halarious!!! Heres an article just to show you the level of humiour we are dealing with here....



"Alot of people have been asking me “what is hutching!?! How do i hutch?” such important questions cannot go unanswered anymore. So here’s your answer, you cunts.

Hang wanking, also known as “Hutching” or (in a sentence) “Doin’ the hutch” was immortalised by the late INXS frontman Michael Hutchence, whos name the term is derived from, after he paid the ultimate price for self pleasurefication. Hutching is where an individual asphyxiates him/herself whilst masturbating, in an obscure area and sometimes also provides photographic proof, to be later uploaded to a social networking website.

Basically, here are the things you will need to start you on your road to hutching, what i am going to serve to you today is a hutcho crash course, pointing you in the right direction, so that you can impress friends and family with all the Hutching you have done in obscure places.

1.Makeshift Noose: The noose is the backbone of every decent Hutch, without it, youre just jacking yourself 7floors up on a balcony while your mate photographs at 3am in kangaroo point. I often find the best thing to make a noose, is a tie.

2.A Penis: Preferrably your own, otherwise it isnt masturbation, its foreplay, and if youre a dude, giving a hand shandy to another dude, while youve got a noose on, and hes photographing the whole thing, people are gonna fucking talk. Hutching works with most types and sizes of peni, circumcission is not an issue either.

3.A box of tissues: You could use a towel, but the hutch is best when you can leave your own calling card. That way future hutchgoers will not copy your hutch, double hutching has become a frequent issue as the activity is starting to be globaly recognised.

4.A spotter: I cant stress this enough people, how many have to die by the hutch before you will realise! Michael Hutchence died because he got greedy, he was constantly searching for the ultimate hutcho, but he reverse hutched a doorknob and look what happened, he probably didnt even climax. Everybody needs a spotter, not just for safety, but who will take that shot that you upload to the “Hutching” page on facebook?

These are the bare necessities that will start you on your path to Hutching, next time i will explain the different hutchniques that will be making a comeback this hutching season, some new ones and ofcourse, vintage hutch.

Its fukken hutching."


Just a real good read, if you want to check out the rest of this stuff then click here